welp.

Today was the day. Reality. Freedom. Accomplishment. Realization.

What a lovely day.

Nice to have a job again.

The Anthony Rapp show was absolutely and hands down one of the most emotional and amazing pieces I have ever seen preformed in my life. I really want to do reviews but I keep having 24 other things to do! Hope the night is finding you all well.

There is something I do really like about the city.

The subway. The homeless. The wreckless. The fearless, and the evening.

Today we went to Lauren and David's engagement party. David's fathers, father used to own the company that owns ALL of the pluming in NYC.


What.


So since they sold it off and like Lauren says "the FORTUNE still exist". They live in this BEAUTIFUL apartment in Washington Heights, not your typical NYC place it's HUGE! Right on the Hudson and next to the bridge that crosses to Jersey. We stood out on the walk way and saw the bridge light up, epic to say the least. Their apartment (worth somewhere in the 500,000+ range) it completely paid for, covered with one of a kind art and little trinkets they have collected over the last two and half years. They have a bedroom with a brick wall and a mini recording studio in what would be their second bedroom. Their living room is lined with novels and poets, music scores, records, and six of David's 9 Gibson guitars. In his mini studio he has a whole set up complete with amps, headphones, a banjo, keyboard and even sound proof. They met threw networking and she played cello on his album (which she and him are both incredibly talented)...jealous yet? She travels the world playing cello and her fiance is a psychologist minor/plasma chemist.

They are both fun, down to earth and simply some of the best people I think I had ever met.

I am posting this note...because I can't send it to you.

Listen I know were not talking...maybe never right...anyways not the point, I just wanted to share with someone who knows the people I am speaking of...

Helping this band out and I end up chillin and drinking with Dj Infamous, Dj Develop and the guitarist from Gym Class Hero's...

WTF

Miss yew.

So fb is making me think of the past.

It is putting your picture in the corner, every picture of you, over and over. Were not speaking so imagine how this is...awakard.
Still getting warm chills when I think about you. I just wish we talked more. Friends, lovers or nothing. Guess we know which one you choose.

-.-

50th post.

Just ran into the fact this will be my 50th post! What a post it will be!

Lacey came into the city today, apparently everyone who wants to be someone in theater is auditioning this week in NY. Yippie! So we met up and attempted to get Lottery tickets to broadway (For those of you unfamiliar it's the best way, really, you write your name, they pull names out, you get your name called YOU WIN, you don't go try another show. So we didn't get our names called and hopped over to Rock of Ages, whereee... we did. :-)

Walking around waiting to get in line we happen to pass by Ray-J, Brandy and Ormarion (SP?). Lacey almost knocks into Brandy into the street and I thought the body guard was going to swoop her up and deck her but she didn't even notice. (Lacey that is)

Rock of Ages is a cheeeeeeeeeeseeeey love story about making it in the rock scene on the sunset strip in the 1980's. Basically...it's a show with songs from Foreigner, White Snake, Poison, Journey, ect. Lacey's old friend from college happened to be in it so it worked out. Fun show with lots of singing in the crowd and they gave out these fake plastic lighters that were baby flashlights so you could wave them around at the slow songs. Catchy marketing eh?!

Then we met Nick Rachel ( the most adorable and sweet/hysterical gay guy Lacey went to school with) and people from Hersey and ate at Blockhead's. YUM! All in all it was really a great day.

THIS is how I want to live NY, don't we all?

Oh and too bad it's not about you but rather about him.

Recently I spoke to someone about my future, my present and my past in great depth.

This city is giving me everything I wanted, yet I want to share it with you.
Obvious I know.
To bad you'll never know it.
As the cold approaches and people begin bundling up I see you in that coat I hated.
Torn and beat down, I wanted to burn it.
Oh and too bad we are both searching for something else.
Because I just cant seem to pick up the pencil and erase you.
Oh and too bad we will both never admit it.
To stuck in trying to find our own twisted versions of perfect.

You still cross my mind from time to time.....

and by that I mean, always.

I never asked about you.

A blanket.

So ever since I can remember I have had this OCD tick I guess. I guess you could call it that. I do.

Sometimes, little things just bug me, in my head I think about how they use to be and for a millisecond it's almost sad, I guess the best I could describe it to would be wanting to make things the way they use to be.

I was sitting on the balcony at Matt's apartment and wrapped up in my red blanket I have had for about a year now. As I sat and looked down at the red material some-what matted and worn, no longer as vibrant and silky, I thought of why I had it in the first place. It was last winter when FL got SUPER cold for ... a week or so. Eric and I were still living together and we were both major blanket hogs so I got it to put on top of the comforter in case one of us (mostly me) took it all. I ended up sleeping in that every night because it was so comfy. I use to wrap myself up in it, then his arms around me. (ah the memories of a good relationship) So now almost a year later the blanket is no longer as bright but, it is still as warm as ever, warmer than any blanket I have ever had. There was even a piece of cat hair on it from Cali's countless nights sleeping with me in the last few months of Orlando. So when I looked at it, I was a bit annoyed, or sadden, either way it's slightly ridiculous when I think about it. I miss the way it use to be and what it ment I guess, not in the way I am sure you are reading into this but simply the memory of the new blanket. Cuddling in it every night with or without someone, it truly was a great buy. Yet annoyed that it can not stay the same, I have learned to welcome change with open arms, however, I don't think I will ever be to fond of it.

This theory has just always come up in my life with different items or people. Hmm.

*grabs blanket and covers self laying down*

Sweet Dreams.

First day.

So today was the BIG move to the BIG city. New York. Got my own room in Mid-town Manhattan with a friend and great connects all over the city. Is it wrong that I am loving every min. of it. NO! I use to dream about this and now it's real. I couldn't be happier, minus one thing... really I will end up writing a blog longer in detail...I really miss my friends (normal I know). It will make reuniting so much sweeter. I have always had close friends but this is the first time I have been connected, not connected, comfortable, uncomfortable yet still belonging in the mix of it all, alive, passionate, and believe so strong in friendships I have no intention on losing. It's been a while and I am so glad to feel that way and know these great people, even if they are hundreds of miles away.

Internship starts tomorrow, thinking about starting a blog for it, or something NY related? Thoughts?

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -Henri Nouwen