I need a cuddle buddy and a good greek salad.

Where can you put in an ad for these things an not get a stalker, weird-o, or bad lettuce?

Cali (my kitten) has failed for the most part at this whole cuddling idea, I mean she sleeps on the chair, I sleep in my bed. I mean I don't have a California King here but, she could certainly share some room just for good measure. Where are the friends you use to call and ask to just come over a cuddle and for that matter why aren't they more prevalent in my life. Who doesn't love a cuddle buddy. Everyone does.

Much like a greek salad. Who doesn't enjoy some vine ripe tomatoes with feta cheese and some italian dressing, banana peppers, and SOME not that many olives. I don't know many and really for being the salad freak that I am there has been quiet a lack of them in my life.

*Insert moment of blanking out again* (read earlier post) that was followed by a knock on the door, at 3:30 in the morning? I suppose I neglected to tell you that I started writing this about 30 mins ago but then began banging out notes on the piano, which then lead to a full on belting session. Who was at the door, Tony & Tina (the cute neighbors who are engaged next door). Tony is slightly taller than me with a build like a jersey guy without the attitude (or tan). Tina comes in at a whopping 5'1 in her tiny asian frame, they are both adorable. Now back to the present, so it was 3:20ish and they knock on the door, I immediately open the door and apologize for being to loud, (this is why I love them... are you ready? you ready?!) They tell me that they just got back from a engagement party and heard me playing while walking up the stairs (yay for note knowing my window was open... right?) and wanted to know who it was because they thought it would be beautiful to play in their wedding video montage thing. I was taken aback at the fact they were so interested at 3 am but I guess thats the neighbors relationship we have had in the past.

The song "The next 10 minutes" from The Last 5 Years

I always enjoy sharing new shows with others and especially when they are used in context other than they are written. It makes me feel like the writer has done their job in sharing their message with a vast range of people. They reach more than their target medium and thats a large if not small goal I would assume one would attempt to reach lyrically and melodically.

Sleep Well.

It's 2 am again.

Do you ever get so tired that you are delirious? I think that's what happen last night when I posted. Accept my apologies for the utter confusion.

It's way to early in the morning but at this point I am afraid if I fall asleep I wont wake up in time for twitter class. I am trying to find a new way to let go of all this energy and restlessness I have been seeming to have built up. I tried decorating my apartment with records and albums, once that was over, it was over. I have attempted to teach myself more songs on the piano..it went well but I wanted to get up and move! So to no surprise to myself I took my laptop and hooked it up to the TV then blasted everything that youtube would handle. (I really miss my music on my laptop but, apple still has it hostage so Annie was nice enough to let me borrow her's.) Then onto grooveshark and before I knew it I was hoping from Dashboard to Gaga to Adele, then Last 5 Years (musical), Funny Girl (musical), then back to my new obsession Andy Hull's "Right Away, Great Captain" then to finish with pretty much everything pandora could throw my way..

I am almost positive that Tony & Tina next door are either out of town or very heavy sleepers.

Still wide awake. I am wondering how many other people are suffering from this inability to sleep. I am sure there is some astronomical number and 4,000 different facts that are scientifically proven but, there is my problem with that right there. "Scientifically proven" who decided that was the answer. Merp.

I was at a loss for words...

He asked me "What was on my mind?"

I really was at a loss for words for a few minuets. What was on my mind suddenly seemed to explode into a giant pile of images and words flooding my brain to the point where I had to close my eyes. Then it was blank and I really had no answer....

I blank out a lot which is funny because "he" use to blank out on me and it drove me nuts. Actually when anyone did, I couldn't stand it. I had a friend Sam who use to blank out all the time and just stare at you (please keep in mind there was nothing wrong he just spaced out) and you could look right at him calling his name for a min or so and then he would just come back all of the sudden. I am still convinced to this day there was something up but, he claims nothing. Point being it drove me up a wall for the longest time, now I can't seem to stop doing it.

Did ya see that...I did it right there!!! Of course not this is a blog Caitlin...jesh.

So what is on my mind? Eh? It's still so flooded, mainly this whole life changing event about to take place, the real world? YES PLEASE!

Elaboration to continue another day i have gotten to caught up in Right Away, Great Captain!

Where is everyone tonight...

I am having the craziest time keeping calm lately. One minute its all flowers and candy and the next I feel like the world is going to cave in.

What is up with my mind lately?

So here I am sitting trying to decide what vinyl records to put up on my wall. I feel like I am deciding my own fate, or that of the neighbors when they hear me trying to ever so lightly tap on my wall to hammer in these nails. Frank Zappa was the one that kept falling down... its almost ironic to me. The strong steadfast wall tho now contains Cyndi Lauper, Crobsy,Stills & Nash, The Clash, Grease (the original soundtrack), Pa Benatar, St.Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, Breakfast at Tiffany's (The original soundtrack), Nat King Cole and many more.

As for things being astray in my mind right now I believe I am to the point where I would pay more than the 75 dollars but rather 10,000 dollars to find my Nikon charger. Taking photographs always eases my mind and gives me the outlet I spent so long looking for over the last two years, now I just need to find the charger to make it all happen because I really hate spending money, especially on something I already have.

I don't know who reads this (no one who knows me I am sure) but I am sure you think I am a crazy rambler by now. It's just my odd stream of consciousness... they all just seem to flow together into one giant thought. I think it's most likely something I certainly enjoy about myself, we can think of it as the ultimate multitasking.

Why is everyone so angsty lately?

To start this off were gonna go with I am GENERALLY a happy person. I like to laugh and smile, laughing makes me a positive person.

Yes I do enjoy music and its really the only thing that has made much sense to me for quite some time. However, we can really talk about anything and I enjoy listening to the general knowledge you have, or talking about pointless nonsense, there is no preference as long as we are going to discuss something.... well i take that back we can just sit and exist really. It seems that silence bugs the hell out of people. They feel awkward and look around and that makes me look around and feel awkward but, sometimes just sitting and existing is the best part! Especially for all you Full Sail kids who listen to music all day... what is so wrong with sitting quietly and just listening to the music as it encompasses you. (Isn't that the whole idea here?)

Now here is where we subtract the music chit chat and go with being HUMAN. I feel as if almost everyone I have met here is trying so hard to be into what's hip or what they believe sounds good and running with it (I'm talking marathon running). No one ever talks about why they are happy or sad, what goes on in their life minus school and listening to music while everyone gets drunk. No one shares the past and everyone is so caught up in the "now" that they don't have an answer for the future. Don't get me wrong these things are fine and we don't have to get all life meaning and heavy every time we have conversations but, there is more to a person. At least I think there has to be... music can be YOUR LIFE but, you have more to you than just that.... don't you? Don't I? I feel like everyone I have met in the past year is so scared to talk about themselves...WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!! Ok well I know why I mean who just opens up to people about whatever is really going on in their minds with a general basis of friendship established (besides me... at least I use to). I find it strangely comforting if we happen to just begin a conversation and it leads to a topic in which I can see another side of you, something that takes a little effort to portray other than what you think I am expecting. Do you know the feeling? That sense that no, your not the only person who went through something or feels a certain way. I yearn for a human being who just wants to talk about EVERYTHING and who is feeling something besides the rhythm blasting from the speakers but rather is propelled by the speakers singing and the emotions we carry with us everyday.

It's almost like consistent people watching.... watching people holding back emotions. It's almost like being consistently alone all the time. I see you all thinking and feeling and hear nothing coming from your sewn lips. Perhaps that's why music is such a driving force for these people, it says everything we can't or wont say.

I'm just throwing out if there are any people who would like to talk about anything,everything, needs someone to listen or wants someone to listen to... your not alone.. at least I hope your not because then that would leave me here by myself as well. This is why everyone is so angsty lately there are more bottled emotions than a soda factory! I think this is what a therapist or counselor is for...

But then again I have always found more comfort in complete "unprofessional" strangers and people I call my friends.

So to sum this up in short: we have been friends for over a year now, what the heck are you feeling? And for that matter why do we never talk about it?

Everyone is so touchy lately...so snappy and bitter so I am just GENERALLY TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE! How is it working out?

It blows my mind...

When you generally meet someone you have a energetic pull towards them ( much like a magnet for those of you who really don't get that). This pull teases your mind to become actively engaged in the other mind and picking up on body language, references, common shared knowledge, ect. So someone tell me why it is so weird some times to hang around someone you CLEARLY have a FRIENDSHIP based connection with. Why must they assume any other intensions and why must we assume anything of that kind as well. I JUST WANT TO HANG OUT...I like to collect intelligent, diverse, positive people with a bit of baggage to be around. Why is it hard to say that "Hey, your intelligent, interesting, and adorable as all get out. Lets be super awesome best friends... sound good?"



I guess so....

There's a first time for everything...

There is something about being apart of someone's first... anything really. Its like acing a test or driving by yourself for the first time. (Of course there is a few more serious things like, weddings, graduations, births) Some other similar events might include... getting your first job, seeing a movie you have never seen, first kiss, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first partner, first moment of inspiration, child innocents at its best, losing your first tooth, first concert, first family loss, first birthday cake...(ok you get the point).

It really is a memory in your life that are hardly ever erased. I hardly ever forget the FIRST TIME something happens that is monumental for that person/myself in which it has never happen before. A point when life sometimes feels almost magical in the sense that you are holding a possibly very valuable moment in time. First are something I believe that I take for granted for example I watched a Michael Jackson music video (thriller if you want the details) in which the person HAD NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE! How does this happen you may ask, especially when they take an interest in the arts, who really knows?! So back to the matter at hand, as watching it I am bobbing along and reciting what I know when I stop and think during this 12 min or so video and I just freeze in though that this is a EXTREMELY monumental moment in his life. Even more so if he continues on with music and shares the same music with his off spring when they come along. It was the realization that I was permanently apart of someone's life and influences was a very powerful moment.

Other first with friends this week.
-playing mad libs
-going to IKEA
-being "influenced" in IKEA
-Used a regular film camera
-Watched a UFC fight
-Drank more than half of a bottle of Jagger
-Been two places at the same time.


Its been a great week to say the least.

next blog topic..nine review? I think I will have to enjoy it again before I can fully review...

Sweet dreams readers.

Your a car im a human, lets do the math.

The average curb weight of small cars is around 3180 pounds; for midsize cars, 3577 pounds; and for large cars, 3990 pounds.

The average human weighs anywhere from 120-200 lbs depending on height,build, and gender.

Ok so test one, your walking along the road (parking lot if you will) and your going to class. Now lets play a game called "the parking lot is not the autobahn" so as we humans or squirrels or bird or small woodland animal are crossing the paths through the cars lets first be aware that we are not all Andre the Giant.
We do not simply have the ability to see over the hummers a SUV or F150, such as well that even tho we can see over the mustangs, bmw's and mini coopers chances are we are looking at the ground, around us, or texting. So its not like we are paying attention!!!!!!!

No car you may not drive 60 down the parking lot in A)HOPES THAT IM LOOKING FOR YOU and B) HOPES THAT I AM GOING TO GET OUT OF YOUR WAY BEFORE YOU BOTHER TO LOOK FOR ME!

No I can not read your mind nor can I halt on break pads or control the rate at which my couple tons of a car is going, no I do not feel bad walking infront of your car when you are driving to fast and you have to stop. NO I AM NOT SORRY THAT YOU DIDNT LOOK BOTH WAYS LIKE WHEN YOU WERE IN SECOND GRADE AND YOUR PARENTS WERE TEACHING YOU HOW TO CROSS THE STREET. THIS IS NOT A CONVERSATION BETWEEN US AND DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO YELL AT ME JUST BECAUSE YOU CANT SEE THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD BECAUSE YOU FORGOT YOUR SUNGLASSES (which i forgot are the only way you can apparently see). Silly cars....

Whew.

Sponsor packet almost done...those of you that are reading thanks for the personal messages AND im still looking for an engineer and stage manager for next april!!!!!

All my love,
Cait

Things I should most likely return to

Smiling.

Church.

Writing.

Editing/taking pictures that really matter to me.

Finding someone to talk to...that I can confide in...

that doesn't know my life story.


Sigh. Back to sleep I go.