The end begins.

First day of final project was Tuesday....What?! Final project, the end, the conclusion, tada!

Friday begins what was going to be an epic road trip and now will continue ALONE but I promise will be epic none the less.

I think this will be a great thing for me I mean 17 hours by myself WHO WOULD ENJOY THAT? I really think, the more I think about it the more I will enjoy it. There are so many questions about myself I want answered and always distract myself from finding them out. On the road I think out of pure boredom alone I will ask myself these questions and be ecstatic about the outcome. So here's the plan.

Friday -LEAVE -


Bust my ass looking for Jobs in New York with an artist pitch on the 7th and helping Matt with Rite Of Spring 2011. Then on the night of the 7th driving to location number 2!



Then to work Nashville to find a job in case New York is a temporary bust. Have a phone interview on the way to NYC on the 2nd for a company in LA.

WHERE AM I GOING TO END UP?

Who really knows...I think thats the exciting part. Where do you think I should go readers?
Keep a look out for the MANY pictures and videos that will take place out of boredum on the way there and of course to enjoy the beauty of this country!

Best,
Cait

Well I guess insomnia is back.

I meant to go to bed an two hours ago..I really did. Instead I have been doing productive things and not so productive things like editing fun photo's.



My editing color template has been a bit dark lately since I have been sitting here in the dark corner of my room for a few hours.(oh that was a bit emo, sorry) Even Cali is sleeping next to me and I am wide awake...which is not good when you have to get up at 9ish am. I guess falling asleep by 3 will do the trick. What are you doing tonight world? I went into this blog with everything and nothing to say. I mean you don't want to hear me rant about nonsense that only concerns me...your thinking "What about me? Huh Caitlin! Every time I read this damn thing your just talking about things you like and care about! What about me?" Well...honestly its my blog damnit. I was wishing today more people blogged...you really do tell all sometimes and while its therapeutic for you it lets people in by accident.

So world here's your peak.
Enjoy it while it last.

Today I was thinking about taking a month off to go to Africa. Right? I have always wanted to go so I did some research and it's still just as possible as two years ago... except...(drum roll) I have a degree now so they like to make it cheaper for me! Call it the governments way of saying thanks for blowing 100,000+ bucks on education, now get out and volunteer. So if I would like to build houses in South Africa or work at a local Red Cross I have to get a passport renewed, buy the proper clothes, recert in CPR and first aid, and get thirteen shots (6 of which are shot in your stomach). Suddenly a care package and a picture or .15 a week seems much more feasible on my stomach. The price we will pay to help....some people anyway. But the price some wish to not pay to help their own lives.

Africa anyone?

Summer Cleaning

Found these the other day whilst cleaning...enjoy.

"Child"



Child
breaths onto the baren walls
chilling and dusty
broken guitar
sings sweetly in the hush of the crowd
you feel abandon
alone
tap a familiar shoulder
grab a willing hand
walk the chilling hall
together
brave the closet monsters
with no fear and to much compasion

"squeezing hands"

The only drug I could provide
Hands twisted
A gesture to keep you on a certain high
Fingers entwined

Talent surround me...

I prefer it that way. Ever since I have been enthralled with music it seems to find me in such beautiful ways. I find those who find peace in their passion unbelievably enticing, and I find a connection with them easily. Two weeks from now I will be in New York and on the 7th I will be pitching a few artist in attempts to impress a very "hefty" amount of people to obtain a job(none of these artist mind you). While setting up templates and finishing paperwork with the last few artist I began listening to my favorite playlist (which I was fortunate enough to be able to transfer to the laptop Annie let me borrow via flash drive) entitled "Talented people I care for". This rightly named for the music my friends have given me and created...

So...in the words of Julie Andrews

"Lets start at the very beginning a very good place to start...."

Lacey Angerosa

Lacey is a firely spirit who dreams big and has an even bigger voice! At the young age of 22 she has already premiered in numerous casts performances at The University Of Central Florida Conservatory Theater. From Pirates, Smokey Joe's Cafe, to RENT, staring in a few short films and now being in a premiering cast of Rock The JukeBox Lacey is taking her dreams of performing to the next level. I couldn't be happier for her as an ex roommate and currently best friend, Lacey, captivates audiences with her wide vocal range and infamous hair flips. check her out at http://www.laceyangerosa.com




Annie Firmin

Annie is a New Orleans native and a free spirit at heart. For the last two years I have been fortune enough to spend with Annie I have gotten to see the real passion of a true artist at work. When Annie takes the stage (so to speak) her vocals are compared to those of a soul foul black women mixed with the blues style of the deep south. Watching others watch Annie sing for the very first time or the hundredth time it gives me goosebumps... smiles cross every face when she shows her true passion for music through her incredible vocals. Listen to a few originals and covers on her myspace now! http://www.myspace.com/anniefirmin1



Ian Flanigan

When I first met Ian there were three things I found out very quickly... one, he looked 24 but was 19, two, he was a self taught AMAZING guitarist, and three, his voice was unlike any raw unsigned talent I had heard in quite some time. Words can not exactly describe Ian's range of talent and the endless possibilities that his music holds for his future. Ian's new album http://www.myspace.com/ianflanigan.


Casey Mcguire

Casey is the living image of the word "Business". You can always find casey creating and working on new projects around the Orlando area. Over the past three months through his own company Casey has released three albums of different artist from the New York area. This month Casey released his own album under the name Free Trade. A motown vibe over contemporary R&B gives the feel for the new album. All music can be downloaded for free at http://www.trustatement.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=305:trustatementcom-plus-30-june-15th-free-trade&catid=49





Aaron D. Bucy

Aaron is a christian contemporary guitarist from North Carolina. I met Aaron in the Music Business program and he took the whole class by pleasant surprise when he played a personal song in month 4.He says “music isn’t just a hobby, it’s something that I feel called to do, and I’m in constant pursuit of whatever it will take to fulfill that calling.” Aaron performs mostly in church's and for his darling fiance but is always a pleasant surprise when you happen to stumble upon his few uploaded songs. http://www.myspace.com/aaronbucymusic





and because I know he like Aaron reads this (and because he is actually talented) my favorite cover man band (drum roll)

Landon Tucker Swindoll

Landon is a music lover if there ever was any. I have never seen someone get so excited to be listening to a song in my life...Landon truly involves himself in any project he is apart of and enjoys melodies and lyrics to the fullest extent. Check out his covers and a few originals "The Album Demos" and "Stop & Reset" where you can even purchase them!!! http://landontucker.bandcamp.com/album/stop-reset




Feel free to enjoy all these lovely people and their incredible talents!

Enjoy with your ears,
Cait

Chelsea.

No one says it better than her. I can always rely on my best friend and sister to tell me how it is and what is most likely in the back of my mind to begin with. We were inseparable for three years and when she went off to college it was a bit tough not being able to share our lives but now even though weeks go by before we speak each time its so easy to talk to her and she just understands everything, I imagine if I had a sister that is what it would be like. Yesterday I simply spill my guts out to her and she tells me exactly what I needed to hear, "It's just holding you back if you regress, there is no time like the present so live it up. I feel this is how you are truly happy so why backtrack?" Win. She is right to ya know. I just want to keep moving forward and this whole shenanigan would just be moving backward and I can't see myself doing that.




On another note I just began looking for flights to LA and NY for summer break. Three interviews in LA (trying to make two of those phone interviews due to funding) and one MAJOR opportunity in NY. Keep your fingers crossed dears!

Moving Forward,
Cait

On a hot day like this....

I wonder how people in 800 B.C survived! I mean I know the layer clothing actually keeps the body cool when taking the sweat and basically using it as an air conditioner but did Jesus ever walk outside and just say "Never mind everyone, let's go trek and spread the word of God tomorrow because it is way to hot today!"
Or what about the Romans when fighting in battle with pounds of heavy armor? "No battle's today thank you, Rome wasn't built in a day, so today can wait!"
Settlers in the first wars of the early Americas? "I claim this land for the Queen and King of England but it is to hot to load the ships today so they will just have to wait for their cash crops!"
What about in the days of Harriet Tubman? Leading slaves to freedom through swamps and underground tunnels of dirt and swamp water, sleeping in cellars during the day while the sun beat down on the barren land?! "I will save these people tomorrow the heat is just unbearable!"

On hot days like these where we in our day and age barely want to put on long pants or dread spending time just walking from the car (which is air-conditioned for most of us) to the safe haven of the air-conditioned building only a couple of feet away....

I wonder how many great leaders and just people in general either stopped what they were doing or put something with the potential to change the human race on hold just because it was a bit to hot outside.

Food for thought.

Your a weird kind of friend..

but I really enjoy it.

It's been some time since I have had a friend like this before and its kind of strange. A friend who gets me, who I spend time with doing simple things and who I feel comfortable saying pretty much anything I feel like. Can I just say YOU FREAKING ROCK! It's nice to not feel like someone has any expectations of you other than to be yourself. It's extremely refreshing and I do believe as few and far in between as people like you are, it's a very nice surprise none the less.

*This is the point where the cat is outta the bag*

So to continue, this blog all spun from a conversation I was having with my mother. We were watching "The Holiday" that my father had put on because he likes Jack Black (I think it gives him the feeling of being "cool" or "hip") and he tries to cut down on the slasher and sysfy shows when we are all watching something together. My mother says to me, "so who are you going to Universal with?" I list off the regulars and she asks me where everyone is from... as soon as I mention California she's all over it. We begin talking about the great state in general and before I know it... this turns into the facts I know about you conversation. My mom says "Well.... if I didn't know him before I certainly know him now, he seems very nice and a good friend." Then I was thinking and I was like well.... yea... yea he is a great friend. I mean who else watches 30+ episodes of Who's Line Is It Anyway? Us. I am pretty sure that those who would watch that from the outside would be jealous. So the first part of my blog is in homage to you my friend for being... yourself! (A little boost never hurts anyone's ego right?)

So onto the rest of life....

I have this new out look on things in this town Brandon, Fl. When I first moved here at the young age of 9 I loved it. But, let's be honest when you are 9 and have a brand new house, with a new school and new friends and you have just gotten out of the ghetto of St. Petersburg what is not to be happy about? As the years went on I made a name for myself and somehow gained a lot of respect by people... middle school and high school came and went. Then moving to Orlando distance between everyone grew and you lose touch (it happens). So the first year coming back to visit went a lot like this...

-Come home, eat for free with parents, spend time with them, get ready, go out, (insert illegal activities here), come home at 3am.
-Repeat.

It was great don't get me wrong. It was a sense of belonging to a group of people that came back with stories and new aspects of life to share. That got old quick... now everyone who comes back here on break either hates it or out of pure boredom spends it completely effed up. So this next year coming home has been farther in-between and no one really talks or gets together much except for the holidays. This is how visit's typically go now...

-Come home, eat with parents for free, spend time with family, spend time with family, run into random old friends from the 9th grade, hang out for a bit, make plans to see eachother in the next five years.
-Repeat.

This town is duller than I remember. I always told my parents I wanted to grow up by the beach but, no we got Tampa. I'm sure they regret still being here as much as I would, thank god I got out before I ended up like some people I know. The one bright side to this town is Downtown Tampa tho...it truly is beautiful to me and I have spent many great nights just sitting out by the bay with friends and bottles of wine ( much like tonight) and shouting songs at the top of our lungs, that's something I wouldn't trade for the world. Nostalgia for the win, right?



Ran across from pictures from State while cleaning out my old laptop for my mother.

Enjoy!

Then the silence comes in....

Very long day,

Very thought provoking day.

I have a headache the size of this country, I believe.

I am sure of nothing other than I need a massage and a bottle of rum... today has just been another flop.

Thanks to you.

Puh.

Song is stuck in my head

I love this picture, it's my kind of cute humor.












She said, "I don't care, you don't even know me."
I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully."
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

Spill Canvas is making a comeback in my stereo.

I am so nervous I could vomit. Pleasant image for your smiling faces eh? I mean its been almost three months since everything and almost 2 since I have even seen him. Gosh, two months....I spent almost two years seeing someone EVERYDAY and then it just stopped. I guess I have never really addressed it but anyone who really knew me and knew...us...knows it broke my heart. Now, well now I AM FINE...I thought it would take much longer than this but, really I guess we all saw it coming yea? Yea.
I wanted to salvage a friendship and it was something extremely important to me because, after all he was my best friend. Against what I wanted it didn't happen...then randomly (like this always happens) he wants to meet up and hang out, try this "friend" thing. My first thought was a straight no, I had been so hurt and spent so many nights just driving and crying myself to sleep. I lost who I was and didn't love who I ended up being and it took me all this time to get back to where I wanted to be. Now after much thought I guess forgiveness and starting anew is really what I was about all along. I forgive him for being blind and hurting me with such cruel intention. I want to start anew in a friendship that had made us such a great pair before. I don't want what was, but I do want the friendship that could be. So tomorrow, I am so nervous to loose everything I had worked for, all the walls I let down and the new and better person I have become.

I am so nervous to simply see your face and for fear of regressing.

I am so nervous I could vomit.

Life has been so incredible lately.

I realized that I had not blogged in a few days and that was because I was keeping busy and being rather happy. But why shouldn't you blog when your happy right?

Well real life has kicked back in with my dear friends from Recording Arts graduation yesterday. I love graduations, they are like weddings or births to me. Its the beginning, middle and end to everything all at once. It was bittersweet watching some of the sweetest and most talented guys I have met here after two years walk across that stage knowing I may or may not ever see them again. It's that graduating High School feeling, you think you will know them forever and then they somehow fade away and one day when you look back its a weird feeling that reaches into your mind and almost takes over for a moment, full of memories with good and bad times and wonderment in where they are now? For example now I look back two years after High School and laugh knowing that where I thought I would be all along is where I ended up. Those who were prevalent in my life and around for years, the ones that mattered, still matter and those who I thought would ALWAYS matter for the most part have faded away. But here I am two months away from graduation from COLLEGE. Holy crap. College is less than eight weeks from ending and then I am moving, getting a job (or attempting to), meeting my future life. EEEEP! I couldn't be happier with my decision tho, this was the right choice for me all along.

As far as the rest of my life besides classes and the end coming near the friends I have been surrounding myself with are ridiculously incredible. It is so electrifying to be around people with such passion and humor as well as getting to know them on an individual basis, helping to ease my mind by slight connections with people. At least I think I am connecting, the other day Annie and I had this incredible conversation and it was enlightening I felt for the first time in a long time that I was understood and I understood someone else for who they really were. I find myself smiling a lot more these days and laughing just as much if not more. Like now. I really can not get enough of it and the only sad part is now its ending....school is about to get intense and I will devoting myself entirely to it, as well as locking down a job, working on the Rites of Spring 2011 project and moving. The smiles and laughter I can only hope will keep me connected with these people for a lengthy amount of time.

Hope all is well readers,
Cait